So I have to admit there is some freedom in knowing that no one I know is reading this, possibly no one at all is reading this. That's a rare commodity these days when you don't have to vet what you're putting out through the filter of "what will my husband think?" or "how can I post this without my mother in law reading it?" or "how will my super conservative friends react if I post a picture of my new tattoo?". So now that I have a non-captive audience the question is what do I really want to say, but feel like I can't?
Honestly I would like to say that being married is harder than I make it out to be, that I love my dog so much it hurts sometimes, I feel female friendships are just big long competitions,and that I'm not sure if I care that I forgot my Mother's birthday. I also have anxiety so badly that it makes even easy things difficult, that I often feel more at home reading a book than in most normal social situations, I miss my friends more than I miss my parents and that I don't like Taylor Swift. I can't help it, I've tried to but I can't.
That felt strangely good, although I must admit there is the creeping anxiety even now that someone will find this, and I'll have to start censoring myself again, pretending I enjoy talking about current events and that I think Sarah Palin is a good person. I'm determined to enjoy myself until that moment comes along however.
